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LostAngel
Senior Contributor

being ok with being withdrawn in gloomy weather

Hi all I woke up this morning with the thought that life is not a fairytale,did manage to be motivated to get some things done during the day then I was strangely quite happy to be dark and moody for the rest of the day ,Im withdrawing in the sense Im not talking to those around me very much,at times depressed but oddly watching dark type movies meaning more kind of horror or battle movies to deal with feeling down,there is something theraputic watching people in a movie fight a physical or emotional battle rather than having to think about your internal thoughts for a while,besides that the weather has been very rainy and as that has suited my current mood for spending time alone Ive been ok with the rainy weather,Ive more or less been hibernating today ,drinking more coffee and coca cola than I normally do a day also eating comfort food chocolate lol,probly should talk to someone maybe a phone call soon to a family member but mostly managing ok,some negative thoughts mainly about my life choices ect and thoughts of whats the point of trying to date anyone,maybe I should stay single ect,but I am happy about what I managed to get done today,at least I know the house is clean,Ive got the heater going I geuss Im just trying to have some alone time anyway to think some things through about where I am direction wise in life and figuring out what my options are to get emotional needs met,should it be through dating random guys,should it be through family or should I join a church whos church members keep inviting me to,should I just settle for less of what I need or want in terms of trying to have a relationship with someone or should I be very specificand picky about who I date or who spend time with in general,do I really know what I want yet or no,part of me is tired of the online fasade of trying to get to know people physically online and yet still not meeting people in person although I do have one possible date lined up this week although the thoughts crossed my mind to cancel on him lat minute its not really cause of these guys either its just more about my emotional state ect so much work is it worth it trying to find someone,will I find someone that sort of things,nice guys or the right guy is so hard to find,begingging to wonder if Im looking in the wrong place,and then church brings up more questions,should I go to church,would I be welcomed in church,honestly I feel a bit unworthy to be going to church at the momment although Im open to the idea of going to church I feel unworthy within myself after some of my recent online dating behaviour ect,in some ways I do feel alone though,I know I shouldnt let myself stay alone but I just do feel alone,sometimes there can be alot of varied options of things and ways to get somewher in life that it takes a long time to choose exactly which way to go,and figure out whats most important all the questions Ive wrote here dont nessaserilly need to answered by any forum friends they are just questions im asking myself,feeling doubtfull 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: being ok with being withdrawn in gloomy weather

Hi @LostAngel . 👋

I've just read your post and I see that you have a lot of things happening and going on right now. Wow! So many thought and ideas ranging from the weather where you are to activities you like to do such as watching movies and then into relationships with guys and family members. That's pretty full on forumite friend.

 

Personally I'm all for hibernating when the weather is cold and gloomy as it has been where I am in Melbourne these past few days, preferably under the covers with a good book- something I'd love to do but haven't had a chance to do in a long time unfortunately. I've got 2 books on the go at the moment that I borrowed from the library titled 'The Midnight Library' and 'The Lord of Rings trilogy' which I've mostly been reading when I visit the library for uni studying and I want a break. The idea of chocolate and coffee also sounds yummy as well! What types of chocolate do you like? How do you like your coffee? I'm still eating the rest of leftover Easter eggs- Licorice eggs to be exact. I also have a preference for a flat light milk coffee or a soy latte for coffee choices. A hot chocolate is also a go to on weather like this as well!

 

Rainy weather is a great excuse to stay indoors and do indoor activities like you have mentioned like movies. What are your favourite movies when you are feeling like this? Horror and action aren't my usual styles but I am partial to a comedy or romance at times or the odd kids movies as well. The last movie I watched was on TV just recently which was Peter Rabbit which I'd seen at the movies a few years ago when it came out. I would like to see Peter Rabbit 2 as it looks to be quite funny despite it being a kids movie.

 

I'm proud of you for getting your household tasks done and for reaching out to others and being willing to extend your social circle in regards to church activities. That takes courage and I'm proud of you so well done 👍

As for relationships with guys, I've got my own issues with a guy at the moment so I'm not the right person to ask about that. Sorry! 

I hope you have found this helpful. Believe me when I say that when I'm depressed or having a bad day with my mental health, I often curl up and hibernate just as a way of dealing with things. I also do know that there are times though when I do need to call out for help and I utilise these services such as calling a SANE helplines for instance. 

Take care forumite!

Judi9877😎💐

 

 

 

 

Re: being ok with being withdrawn in gloomy weather

I feel a bit unworthy to be going to church at the momment 

 

@LostAngel I can't speak for the culture of your particular church, but I am relatively familiar with the teachings attributed to Jesus of Nazareth.

 

I am reminded of the story of the woman at the well, who was considered unworthy by her family and her community but was embraced by Jesus. (Mark chapter 5)

 

There is an extensive list of outcasts and "sinners" who were embraced by Him despite popular opinion and I've always believed that inclusiveness was one of the core values of Christianity, regardless of whether some organised religions practice it.

 

Just something to think about in accessing your worth honey.

 

xoxo

Re: being ok with being withdrawn in gloomy weather

@Judi9877  and @SJT63 thank you both for your support HeartHeart                    in terms of coffee I like Necafe coffee sachets Lattes,Cappichinos but I mainly had Mochas yesterday which went well with chocolate,definetly had an overindulgence of sugar,in terms of movies its strange that one of you mentioned the lord of the rings books trilogy as thats one movie I watched over the weekend ,I do like reading books as well,have one book Ive started reading thats about mermaids but havnt kept reading it as yet maybe later today,I tend to watch darker movies when feeling depressed,very much choosing based on my mood at the time,I watched an action type horror movie last night which was also oddly theraputic for the type of mood I was in,I slept alot last night after thinking alot,mainly of some questions to ask my counsellor next session,Ive noticed Peter Rabit 2 is in the cinemas ,I did see the first one a few years back,might be watched Godzilla verses Kong though this week,I just ended up feeling so sad last night felt unworthy of church,not good enough for guys,had a bit of a cry but had a really good sleep after all the thinking,today the weather seems to be improoving so might go out for a drive,visit and talk to an aunt of mine she tends to be the best one to listen when I get myself worked up emotionally over things,might go have some lunch with her,in fact was trying to call her last night but couldnt get through ,you know the feeling when your emotional and just need to talk to someone? hopefully today will be better though Im glad theres a bit of sunshine today,just hope the washing dries soon so I can go for a drive,I hate that sad feeling of depression especially late at night,but thankfully I slept some of it off sometimes sleeping is what helps most,thank you both and your right @SJT63 about Inclusiveness and the many outcasts and how Jesus helped those kinds of people,its not that others think Im unworthy its mostly me thinking and feeling unworthy,but of course thats part of depression and bad thoughts thank you both also @SJT63 could you please let me know what was the name of the woman at the well is there a few verses about her story in the bible?HeartLostAngel

Re: being ok with being withdrawn in gloomy weather

@LostAngel the woman was never named

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