How to post safely about self harm: A guide

[Daisydreamer]

Self-harm thoughts and actions are a part of many people’s mental health journey. This how-to-guide is designed to help you create safety for yourself and others when talking about self-harm.

If you are thinking about self harm, or have experienced self harm, we are here to support you. You are not alone.

Peer Support and Recovery

Many people experience self-harm throughout their recovery journey, and too often it can feel like there are barriers or no safe places to talk about our experiences and seek support for the feelings, distress or situations that can lead to self-harm.

Here at SANE, we want to create a space to have these important conversations while also promoting a culture of respect, peer support and safety, which is why the boundaries and guidelines about posting about self harm are so important. This guide will support you to seek help from others who understand and have been there before, while also ensuring safety, respect and the wellbeing of all those posting and reading.

In online and anonymous peer support spaces like the SANE Forums, it's important to use safe language when sharing your story/experiences of self-harm, feelings or behaviours. In our last how to guide (How to guide: Create safety online when talking about suicide), we spoke about the importance of safe language. To recap, safe language is important because: 
 

1. It allows others to feel capable and comfortable with providing you with support.  
2. It can protect others from common triggers and help someone else who is sitting with thoughts of self-harm too.  

Not sure where to start? Check out our community guidelines to get an idea of how to post about experiences of self harm.

How we talk about self-harm in the Forums is important for you, and for your fellow community members.  

We are here to support you

Sharing your story and being heard by others who understand can support our recovery journey. Here on the Forums, we also have a range of discussions to help you cope and use safe alternatives when you are thinking about self harm- there are lots of contributions from others who have experienced self harm before and can relate to what you are feeling. Looking for some tools to manage self harm? Check out our discussion here about alternatives to self harm, and distress tolerance.

How can I write about thoughts or actions of self harm safely in an online space? 

1. Let the community know that you are safe and you are taking steps to manage your wellbeing:

If you are posting about self-harm, and are safe/ not actively engaging in self harm at the moment, then include that in your post and let us know what strategies you are using to cope. Chances are, the strategies that you are using to stay safe might help someone else reading the forums.

This can sound like: “Today has been really difficult, and I’ve been thinking about self harm, but I am safe for now and will reach out to a helpline if I feel I need to”,  or “The self harm urges have been strong today, but I am okay and safe now. I am going to use distraction strategies”  

Lots of people sit with thoughts of self-harm when they are experiencing distress. If you are feeling distress, or other big emotions and aren’t sure you can stay safe from self-harm, it’s time to log off the forums and access crisis support or use your distress tolerance strategies (you can read more about building resilience here).

2. Use safe language:

Our words have power, and it’s important that we use trauma safe language when talking about self-harm on the forums. By trauma safe language, we mean being mindful of language to ensure it is not graphic, upsetting or triggering for others to read. This includes staying away from graphic detail including means or methods of self-harm, methods of eating disorders/methods of restricted eating, or descriptions of self-harm.

Avoid mentioning methods
Experiences of self-harm, feelings or behaviours, are something many people experience in their mental health journey. Ensuring we are mindful of the experiences of others, and potential triggers or upsetting content is really important, which is why removing any method of self harm from posts to the forums is important.
 
Instead, remove the methods of self-harm and replace with more general statements. You can still get your story across without listing the method, which ensures it is safe for everyone to read. General statements might look like: “I think about ways to self harm sometimes”, “or “I self-harmed last night”.

How to guide for talking about restricted eating or eating disorders (coming soon!)
Talking about methods of restricting eating or eating disorders can also be graphic, so we encourage you to be mindful of how you talk about methods in relation to eating disorders too. We will make a separate how-to-guide for talking about eating disorders.

3. Use trigger warnings:

Help other forum members make an informed decision about whether to read on by including a trigger warning.  
You might add TW: self-harm/SH in your title, or include Trigger warning: mentions self-harm in the first line of your post 
 

4. Let the community know what support you are looking for/what you need: 
You know what you need best, and letting others know what you need means they can provide more effective support to you when you need it most. For example, you might be looking for strategies to cope, a listening ear, validation you are not alone, or to hear from others who know what you are feeling from their own experiences.

Self-harm and thoughts of suicide:

For many, engaging in self-harm and having thoughts of self-harm does not always correlate with thoughts of suicide or intent to end their life. While in a face-to-face setting it is easier for us to sit with and explore risk related to self-harm together, in an online forum setting it can be difficult to know this through reading a post and so it’s important to communicate if you are safe and what supports you are accessing.

1. I am posting safely about self-harm, and I am not thinking about suicide:

If you are posting about recent self-harm, or thoughts of self-harm that you may act on in future, it’s important know that the SANE forums team may step in to check on you and encourage you to reach out to crisis supports or use distress tolerance strategies. This might include a post or email with referrals to supports you may wish to access.

If you are posting safely about past experiences of self-harm, it’s not likely you will receive an email from us.

There are times when the SANE Forums team may remove or edit posts to ensure that the content on the Forums stay safe for everyone. In these instances, you will always have the opportunity to edit your post and try again. Our moderators or peer workers will be in touch to let you know your post has been edited or temporarily removed. 

2. I am posting about self-harm, but also mentioned thoughts of suicide

If you indicate that you are unsafe and having thoughts of suicide or intent to end your life when posting to the SANE Forums, it’s important know that the SANE forums team may step in to check on you and encourage you to reach out to crisis supports. We made another post on creating safety when talking about suicide here, which you can look at for more information on the role of moderators and the SANE forums team in this situation, and the SANE Duty of Care.

As mandatory reporters at SANE, if a forum member tells us or indicates that they are in serious and imminent risk of harm and are planning to end their life now, then we do contact emergency services. This is an important part of ensuring the safety and wellbeing of those who access our services. 

Note: We would only escalate to emergency services about self-harm if it were deemed to be life threatening, cause serious harm and there is an imminent plan with intent to end your life.  You can learn more about mandatory reporting here: How to guide: Create safety online when talking about suicide or check out our guidelines. 

If you experience self-harm, or have in past, we are here to support you and to share new ways of coping with distress that can help support your wellbeing and recovery.

Summary

Here are the key points: 

1. We are a safe space to talk about self harm, seek support, and explore new ways of coping that can support your wellbeing and recovery
2. How we talk about self harm is important in creating safety for you, and those reading along
3. Using safe language, trigger warnings and letting the community know you are safe can help ensure you get the help you deserve, while also looking out for the community 
4. SANE staff may reach out to ask if you are safe and offer referrals to crisis supports. We may also remove or edit posts that breach our safety guidelines around talking about self harm  

You are also welcome to check out some of SANE's policies and how to guides for more information including our Privacy Policy, Community Guidelines and How to Guide to Stay Anonymous and Maintain your Privacy on the Forums. 

Contact us: You can contact the SANE Forums team at team@saneforums.org if you have any questions or would like any further clarification. We are always happy to answer any questions you might have about how to post within the guidelines, and welcome your feedback!