I can’t cope

[AuntGlow]

That's so lovely to have. 🥺 @Captain24 

But I get finding it hard to believe them... is there one you find hard to believe the least? 

Okay, maybe this is something we can slowly explore? It doesn't need to be overnight, but maybe we can follow 'Captain's Cozy Curiosity'? What do you think? 🥰

I read your post from earlier and I think you are doing so well. Being this vulnerable is hard. Working through painful emotions is hard. Acknowledging patterns you wish to change is hard. But you are doing it. You're literally doing the thing!

And I am so glad you are trying and trusting your emotions with this person who is holding them so wonderfully - that is huge progress. Maybe we can take that in itself as a win? 💛

[Ru-bee]

Morning @Captain24! So I kiiinda did the sunlight thing, it just maybe wasn't first thing in the morning. I had to get up and clean first thing because I have a rental inspection today, and since I kinda forget to tell them we were getting a dog I thought I'd save myself that conversation by getting myself and the dog out of the house for the day, so I did go and sit outside at a cafe and have my morning coffee in the "sun" if you can call it that... it's very grey today, but hey I'm still going to say that counts!

How did you go with it?

[Captain24]

Morning @Ru-bee. 

Rent inspections are horrible. I’m so glad I don’t have them anymore. 

Cleaning is a good reason for skipping first thing. But you did get out in the ‘sun’ so it counts. Shame it’s grey though. 

I got up and spent 15 minutes in the sun and the cold. I’ve discovered that the cold can help regulate me sometimes. 

I then came inside had a shower and washed my hair! I haven’t washed it in weeks! Then I’ve cleaned my whole house and done 3 loads of washing. I just have to try and catch Pix and then they will be having a bath. 

The sun has really helped me today. I think it worked with lifting my mood and SAD. I still have a few things I want to do but it’s ok if I don’t get them done as I’ve already accomplished so much. 

What kinda dog did you get? 

[Ru-bee]

Yes I know, I'm dreaming of the days when I don't need to let strangers in to inspect my home @Captain24 

The only thing inspections are good for is for giving me a boot up the butt to do those annoying chores that I don't get around to often enough...and at least I'll get to go home and enjoy a clean house tonight

Look at you go!! Yeah I bet that getting up and outside for some fresh air and sun is probably an ideal way to wake yourself up even though it might not always sound the most appealing from the snugness of the warm bed. I think I want to try that tomorrow morning so I'll have to report back to you again lol

I love that you said that you've got a few more things to do but that it's okay if you don't get to them, because you're absolutely right, you've done heaps already today! So it's fab if you do get to those extra tasks, but so reasonable if you leave them for another day

I got a King Charles Cavalier. He's a little lap dog who just wants to cuddle 24/7, but he's a rescue so he's still a bit unsure of the world and is learning slowly how to relax and enjoy the good life of being a pampered pet

[Captain24]

I do t do those annoying chores cause no one is looking at them! @Ru-bee. That’s the thing about inspections is how clean your house is afterwards. 

I have a training day for work tomorrow so it’ll be hard to do it in the morning but I’m going to try. It starts at 7:30 so I might get there earlier and stand in the sun then. 

I’ve bathed the dogs and have done everything on my list except the ironing but the washing has to dry first! Also I haven’t been into town so I haven’t done those things. I may go in this afternoon or just leave it to tomorrow when I’m already out. I did straighten my hair though! It feels nice to have it clean and done. 

King Charles are so adorable. Rescues make great pets. It’s like they know you have saved them and are giving them a better life. Mums had two. It is hard to help them adjust to a new life though but he will get there. How old is he? 

[Ru-bee]

Ooh yes 7:30 start is an early one to try to fit anything in beforehand @Captain24 

How did the doggies go with their baths? Are they good with water? I might be wrong but I have a sneaky feeling that chihuahuas and water don't mix haha

Yes sometimes it makes me want to cry seeing how willing he is to trust and love me and it breaks my heart to think that he might not have had that returned for the first few years of his life 😭😭 he's 3 years old and he's currently trying his best to lick my face while I type this haha He must know I'm talking about him

[Captain24]

7:30 is a late start for work. When we are actually at work on site we start at 6:50 but I leave at 5:30 as it’s a 40 minute drive and I hate being late. @Ru-bee 

Pixie is really good in the bath but Jett hates it!  Pix loves the water, she will run through any puddle she can find and when we go to the beach we get down in the sand and she looks at me to take her lead off and the runs for the water! Jet hates the water. The last time we were there I was working on him to get his feet wet. It took a lot of treats! So I have two opposites

I went into town and did what I had to had to do. Even exchanged some jeans which is huge as I usually just leave them because I’m too scared to go in and ask for an exchange. So now the only thing to do on my list is iron the clothes I got off the line. I don’t feel like it though. I feel as though I have pushed myself to my limits. The world isn’t going to end if the ironing doesn’t get done. I’ve smashed today. 

Now after 9 hours of being around 60 people tomorrow all I have to do tomorrow is cook food for work. That will give me some down time to recharge from so much social interaction. 

They are so trusting and it’s really beautiful if it’s someone that deserves to be trusted. It’s hard to know what his life was like before but all you can think of now is that he is going to get the life he deserves. 3 years is a good age. One of mine is nearly 6 and the other is 18 months old. 

How cute, the love they show is amazing. My two lick me on the nose as a kiss. 

[Captain24]

I hope it’s a bit warmer for you today @rav3n 

I got the dogs bathed. I was a challenge with Jett. But they are done. 

Keeping the box close is hard. I can’t ‘drop the anchor’ as it’ll bring up the feelings I’m trying to keep contained. They are seeping out though. 

It is conflicting thinking what was normal isn’t. But now maybe I can work  on it and making it easier to manage. Even today is a little different as my psych said to spend time in the sun in the morning. I did that and it’s helped. I managed to do sooo much today. 

Today I had to get the house and other stuff sorted. Tomorrow is a trading day for work and then I’m back to work Friday, so no time for any rest. Yes I’m exhausted. But I’ll just have to live with it for the next 7 days. 

[Captain24]

Sorry @AuntGlow I went to bed early last night. 

I guess if I had to pick one it would be kind. I’m not a very good person but I can be kind sometimes.

Captains cozy curiosity sounds like a plan. It’s something that I need to find. 

Trusting my psych is huge for me. I have never told a support so much. It’s only in here that I’ve ever been so open. 

[rav3n]

hey @Captain24 my fingers have been freezingggg but besides that, not too bad! how about you?

hope the bathroom didn't end up turning into a slip n slide! was Pix a challenge too? 

i hear you, sounds like it takes up a lot of energy keeping it sealed. keeping my fingers crossed that it can stay sealed till your next appt.

so amazing that you got heaps done!! i have heard really good things about spending time in the sun, sounds like its been bit of an energy boost for ya!! hope trading day goes well 💙