Coping with Grief

[tyme]

Grief is a natural human emotion that can arise from loss. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, an opportunity, a job, a possession, your health, a pet or anything else. 

Whilst the feelings that come with grief can be painful, it is important to make space for these feelings. Pushing them down, pushing them away, or pretending that these feelings don't exist may in fact do more harm than good. It may inhibit the healing process, cause the grief to manifest as physical symptoms, or you may feel a lack of control over your emotions.

So what are some tips for grieving?

According to Griefline, here are some tips for grieving:

1) Seek Help and Comfort from Others

2) Take Care of Your Mental, Emotional and Physical Health

3) Continue the Bond with Your Loved One While Coming to Accept That They Have Gone

4) Establish Safety and Build Self-empowerment

5) Gain a Better Understanding of Yourself and a Healthy Future Outlook 

We encourage you to read about the above tips here: https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief/

As a Community:

- What have you found helps with grief?

- Are there any experiences of grief you'd like to share?

[Oaktree]

@MJG017 @Till23 @Snuggles @Eve7 @avant-garde 

[Snowie]

Probably a good topic @tyme with what has happened.

I find talking with someone about it helpful. I find if I keep it bottled up then it seems to make things worse.

The grief I felt when my Dad passed was something I had never experienced before. Yes I had had people close to me die, but this one hit me the most.

I think also because at the same time I felt relief. Relief that he wasn't in pain anymore. Relief that he would now be in a better place.

It is 10 years this April when he passed and I still don't think I have made peace with his passing. Maybe I never will.

[Appleblossom]

My problems have been magnified by not having anybody to talk or engage with in a timely caring manner regarding real loss of human beings in my immediate family, even though I still keep searching…

yes it is important @tyme and 

and the lack of timely caring attention has its own consequences 

been told off for living in the past…. Not people shocked that I was left with so much to deal with on my own 

kinda why I am here on the forums 

my mother and 3rd sibling had died at the time I first joined Sane …. The earlier deaths were just too complicated to bring up much…. Even on here… I tried to be careful and relevant to others… still all a work in progress 

[Patches59]

From personal experience, very important to help and support kids who are dealing with grief @Appleblossom @tyme @Oaktree 

I started having abondonment fears and panic attacks when I was approx 11yo.  In my mid 40’s I saw first saw psychiatrist who explained was linked to not being able to/allowed to deal with the grief following sudden death of an uncle when I was 9yo

Death of 4 relatives, 3 very close, when I was 9 to 13 yo, each time being told/made to suppress my emotions

[Appleblossom]

Yes, I agree @Patches59 

I am not sure if it is just solved by throwing money in the form of counselling…at grieving kids….

it needs broader social and relevant connections and working through 

There are levels of grief that are more tolerable through both the passage of time and in finding ways to make sense of the loss, manage one’s own emotions, and celebrate the life of a loved one, in a way that allows full attention, then fully living ones life without them.

Some of my brothers life was working out dads death and we both replaced dads role in little ways by stretching ourselves, learning and working.

.....

I just want to curl up under a rock …. 

[rav3n]

i'm so sorry that your family wasn't there for you, you didn't deserve that treatment @Appleblossom sending you gentle hugs 💙

[Shaz51]

@Snowie , @Patches59 , @Appleblossom , @rav3n , @tyme , @Oaktree 

- What have you found helps with grief?

I am still trying to get over grief, but I don`t think I will ever 

My family have not been very supportive 

things I have done is keeping good memories close 

taking one day at a time especially with my HealthWise and physical problems 

- Are there any experiences of grief you'd like to share?

I have had lots of passing of family members and pets, and also decline in physical health over the years 

But the biggest one to hit me is the passing of my mum, it will be 12 months in April and it still feels like yesterday 

[Snowie]

Lots of hugs @Shaz51 💗💗💗

I think we accept it, but never get over the passing of someone special to us.

[mnh]

Content/trigger warning

I lost my 12 year old boy suddenly a day before his 13th birthday, my daughter who was 15 at the time came home to prepare his favourite meal [edited by moderator], we to this day don’t know what happened but they say his heart just stopped and there were no warning signs.

to this day I have clinical depression, ptsd and unable to hold down stable employment and it’s like my body has just got tired and just started to shut down, I am unable to do much due to my physical and mental health, I am on very strong antidepressants and pain relief.

what gets me up out of bed these days are my twin grandchildren they have saved me beyond belief.