I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Dinner at my olds tonight was heartbreaking. It was sad to walk into the house with all of Angels things gone. 

But the hardest part was Pix. She didn’t handle it real well. She would even eat her dinner. She usually Hoovers it. She finally did eat but very slowly and just sat on her blanket on the kitchen floor and was miserable. 

Im crying even typing this. It just broke my heart with how hard it was for her. 

But on a good note all my obligations are finished. I’m still struggling with what happened last night. I should be use to it by now but it was just so much worse. 

[tyme]

Awwwww. Hugs @Captain24 .

The love was so real. The loss is also so real. 

Hugs to you and Pix at this time. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Bow]

Oh that’s sad @Captain24  animals have emotions too and we can pick up on them. 

mums dog has been pretty miserable since mum left. Lays around all day. But it was cute tonight when we FaceTimed mum and the dog could hear her. 

hope you get a good nights sleep. 

[Captain24]

I’m doing ok. It’s just so hard to see Pix struggle. I’m hoping though that she stays a little quiet for mum. She is usually full on and mum doesn’t need that right now. 

It’s so cute when they hear their voices. @Bow Angel would run to the front door when she was here and could hear mum. 

I have a kitchen to clean after lunch but I’ll just do it in the morning while I get ready for work. 

Im to mentally and physically exhausted to work but I just need to focus on the fact that it’s only 3 shifts, then I have the next block off. 

We go on holidays in a weeks time. It’ll be good but bittersweet. I’m hoping it’s the break we all need. I can’t wait to go swimming in the beach. 

How are you going @tyme 

[tyme]

I'm pretty okay. I'm thinking of all the things I have to do lol @Captain24 I'm making mental notes, but I really should write things down.

My sister just told me that the SES are coming to our house on Wed afternoon to take the kids for a drive. So kind of them. It's a surprise for them. So we are not telling them just in case the SES have a call out and can't come.

The kids missed out on getting an SES activity book, so my sister made enquiries as my niece always wanted to know what they do. So they phoned and offered to come and take them for a drive and give them some showbags lol. Very very kind of them.

Did you know Melb had an earthquake early this morning at 2am??

[Captain24]

Yes @tyme. Write them down. Lol

That is so cool. The SES and VRA both do an amazing job. It’s nice of them to take the kids for a ride. They should get a lot out of it and hopefully get an understanding. 

No I hadn’t heard that, but I’m saying that I don’t watch for listen to the news. 
Did you feel it? Is there much damage? 

[tyme]

It was 2am so I didn't feel it @Captain24 . It's the third obvious one we have had recently. We are getting them more and more here in Melb @Captain24 

In a way, I'm glad you have planned everything out for your next few weeks or so. I think it will help with the healing process. The break away will be good - away from a familiar place so you all don't feel the loss as bad. I wonder if Pix knows to be still because she senses your mum's loss? They are so sensitive.

[Captain24]

That’s a bit scary @tyme. I hope the little ones aren’t leading up to a big one. 

I remember the bad Newcastle one. We live probably about 300-350kms away. Mum and I were sitting in the lounge room. The dog we had at the time was asleep behind the lounge, she jumped up and ran out from behind the lounge. The look and fear on her face was really unusual. At the same time there was a really random rattle in the window. It was the shocks from the earthquake. It even cracked on of our walls! 

Ueah I’m hoping so. The holiday will be hard because we have to take Pix to all the same places as she loves them and so do we. I’m hoping mum will be able to reflect on the good times. 

They are coming home a day early so they can get ready for dad to go over for his radiation. I’m a little excited as I will have the afternoon and next morning to myself, just me and Pix. I won’t leave early. I’ll do as much as I can before I leave! The sun will still be up so I get more time! Lol.

Mum is going with dad for the first week so they will have a break from Pix and memories. 

Im hoping Pix is being sensitive for mum and not grieving to much. She has been extremely quiet since we got home. I know she will be ok but it doesn’t stop me worrying about her. 

[tyme]

Yes, grief for animals can be disastrous. I wonder if you can google any strategies to help animals with grief @Captain24 ? I reckon it's so important for you and everyone else including Pix.

Take it easy when you are away. Give yourself space when you need it. Sometimes, it's not worth the arguing when everyone is hurting. Just walk away. Pick your battles.

It reminds me when I'm speaking to my mum. I take DEEP breaths and grit my teeth. I just let her say whatever because I know I can walk away after the conversation and just leave the convo where it ended. I just don't think it's worth the words to keep going. Now that's over the phone.

When I see my parents face to face, I just stop talking, let them say whatever then let them know I'm going to sleep lol. I'm not sleeping! I'm getting away from them! 

So yeah....pick ya battles I reckon.

It doesn't stop the hurt that has happened, but it helps you move on. 

That's my take. But others are different. They want to fight head on.

[tyme]

Oh, and I forgot to write about the earthquake in Newcastle! I remember that one. That was the last first one I ever remember. Then recently we've had three... @Captain24 

I was just posting elsewhere that they are more and more frequent now. The tectonic plates must be very active right now.