Lived Experience Forum

[ray_of_sunshin3]

I’ve begun therapy with a clinical psychologist, have seen her twice now. Recently my partner has made it clear he wants me to continue reading up on how BPD impacts partners and children so that I really understand what I’m doing and how it impacts him and will impact our son. Also forum screen shots he’s sent me discussing how horrible and almost impossible it is to stay with someone who has BPD. Is this something others found helpful to do in there treatment?

[TuxedoCat]

Hey @ray_of_sunshin3 ❤️ It's a real strength to you that you're learning more about this. I know there's a lot of stigma around BPD, so I hope we can get you some info and support from others with lived experience. In particular, I thought I'd tag @tyme ❤️ 

Whatever the conversations you're having with your partner, I hope that they can strengthen your relationship because it sounds like that's what your partner is trying to do ❤️ It might be worth the both of you reading this blog from a great Psychology practice on Supporting Painters with BPD. What do you think about it? 

And also, the journey is hard, but I know you can get through it ❤️ 

[wellwellwellnez]

The answer to, is this something that I've "found helpful" is a hard question to answer directly. An indirect answer might be, these are the life challenges that we seek treatment for.

On one hand it generally helps to listen. On the other hand, matters of personality/trauma are often hard to articulate, which can lead to disadvantage in listening and in being heard.

I think @TuxedoCat is onto it, where it comes to also knowing and sharing resources on your own needs/plans/etc. Two reasons, really. 1. To see if your partner wants to meet you half-way. 2. So you're both better able to find an idea of what half-way looks like.

[Hope0011]

Hi @ray_of_sunshin3 I'm sorry to hear about your struggles but also glad to hear you have a psychologist. BPD unfortunately has a lot of stigma around it and can be used as a scapegoat by those around us. Many people cannot regulate their emotions, whether an official diagnosis has been made and its a spectrum. There's many factors affecting our emotions whether it's biological, lack of exposure to learning the skills or our environment. I believe that one day they will reframe BPD and destigmatise it.  But until then remember you are not your diagnosis, it's just a part of you that can be nourished. You may already have heard about DBT but if not, it's great and can help everyone regardless of their mental status. Take care. Xx