Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

That's so sad to hear. Would you consider raising it with them @outlander ?

[outlander]

no @tyme its not worth it. its not really the first time. i really am only around people that need me. seems to be the only way to be around other people then being by myself all the time.
it doesnt matter how i act, respond, be avaliable to people it never matters. it just keeps being proven that maybe i am better off alone.
even those i paid to support me didnt seem to really want to be around me either

[outlander]

i feel alone @tyme
i joined up to try and be apart of something but i just feel more alone then i did before

[tyme]

Sure sounds tough @outlander . Sounds so unfair too. What do you think it is? That is, why do you think it happens? (No need to answer. This is for self reflection.).

To me, you have such a large heart and you are willing to help anyone. I don't understand it either.

[outlander]

im just not a good person @tyme im not good to be around. toxic i guess.
ive tried and tried. i do everything to try and improve how i am, my social skills, attitude everything but it never seems to help in any case.
i tried groups for young people, didnt fit in. tried joining a horse club, didnt fit in. this is the second volunteering group ive tried that have some slightly older people like later 30s-50s so some around my age plus some older and i still failed.

[tyme]

Rather than 'fail', I wonder if it's just that you havent' found your place yet? @outlander  It doesn't mean you won't. 

[outlander]

i wont ever find a place @tyme its just me.
its always been like it even as a kid.

[Jynx]

@outlander I just wanted to stop by and offer a lil hug, hope tonight has been easier on you 💜

[outlander]

Thanks @Jynx but no
I think I’ll be heading to bed soon. I have a double shift tomorrow

[Jynx]

Appreciate the honesty @outlander and sorry to hear that. Extra hugs, all yours, coming in hot. Hope you have a restful night 💜