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25-01-2022 08:11 PM
25-01-2022 08:11 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
Question 3: How do you look after yourself when supporting a loved one with BPD? @tyme
For me, this is still something I struggle with. Particually when things are bumpy. And particularly after burnout.
When things.go south I slip into auto polit and self care goes out the wimdow.
Getting into cycling as a group activity has made a big difference though.
And I have a motorbike that I can have time out on.
It is hard though when children are involved, sometimes it is not possible to just leave.
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25-01-2022 08:11 PM
25-01-2022 08:11 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
Doing things you enjoySetting time aside to engage in activities you enjoy will allow you to recharge your batteries. These may include:
- going for a walk
- art and craft activities e.g. knitting, painting, diamond painting, soap making
- joining and attending a fitness group e.g. pilates, walking, yoga
- spending time with friends
- having a coffee
- going for a drive
Often when we care for others we can forget that we can just do something small to care for ourselves! Love these suggestions 😁
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25-01-2022 08:12 PM
25-01-2022 08:12 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
I hope the forums can be a support network for you
![Heart Heart](/i/smilies/16x16_heart.png)
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25-01-2022 08:12 PM
25-01-2022 08:12 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
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25-01-2022 08:12 PM
25-01-2022 08:12 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
One of my biggest regrets is hiding during a melt down thinking my being there was making it worse .(I was only out in the shed).
That resulted in a suicide attempt (because she thought I was leaving) and children finding her. 😢
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25-01-2022 08:13 PM - edited 25-01-2022 08:13 PM
25-01-2022 08:13 PM - edited 25-01-2022 08:13 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
I can resonate with you @Maybe1
When I was diagnosed, I went through treatment because people wanted me to.
It wasn't until my 30s that I realised I needed to want the treatment and I needed to do that work.
Even after my treatment, it took months to get back to functionality.
All the DBT skills your daughter has learnt probably now needs time to be out into use and practised. It is HARD work changing the neural pathways in the brain so that there is behaviour change. She needs to want to do it.
Do you think your daughter is at this stage where she needs to WANT to see change?
tyme
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25-01-2022 08:14 PM
25-01-2022 08:14 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
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25-01-2022 08:15 PM
25-01-2022 08:15 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
Question 4: Moving beyond diagnosis, people with BPD have unique strengths. What are some of the strengths you see in the person you support? What strengths do you see in yourself when caring for a loved one?
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25-01-2022 08:16 PM
25-01-2022 08:16 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
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25-01-2022 08:18 PM
25-01-2022 08:18 PM
Re: Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
Borderline Personality Disorder can bring so many strengths to the individual as well as those caring for them.
Strengths of a pwBPD may include:
- being more attuned to others’ emotions
- highly passionate
- highly compassionate and empathetic
- heightened creativity and attention to detail
- strong resilience
Strengths of a carer for someone with BPD:
- patient
- resilient
- strengths in communication
- maintaining boundaries
- empathetic
- supportive
- flexible
@Farmboy has also pointed out some strengths.
Can the community share some of the strengths they have noticed in themselves or their loved ones?