not coping

[Snowie]

You don't have to say anything sis @outlander 

Will just come and sit with you with a cuppa 💕

[outlander]

im starting to wish i never helped that day. if id have known that 6 months later id still be paying for it and trying to live a life that i hate i wouldnt have helped @Snowie

[Jynx]

Hey @outlander  sitting with you as well. 

You said before about lacking social connections... That one is super hard, and I can totally empathise. Used to think I was bloody useless and that people just put up with me rather than truly liking me. 

Something that really helped was that I started assuming that most people also felt this way. I mean, it also matters who you choose to surround yourself with (and like all of my friends have some kind of MH diagnosis lol), but by realising that so many people feel similarly, I was able to get more vocal about my anxieties (e.g. "Oh wow that was a really weird thing to say, now I am internally freaking out"), which lead to others reassuring me or also feeling more comfortable to be their weird selves around me as well. 

IDK, just want to give you some hope around making friends. 💜

Oh and I also saw this last night, might be helpful too:

[outlander]

thank you @Jynx
i seem to be ok at socialising but i cant actually seem to make decent friends or if i do i cant keep them or they reveal their true self quite quickly.
It makes it hard with my BPD as well cause the abandonment feels real to me especially when ive actually connected to that person. i was going well, i was more motivated, energetic, helpful-felt different like i could finally have a more positive outlook and now i find myself in a worse position then what ive been in for quite a long time

[Jynx]

Aww hugs @outlander  that is really tough. I have a few friends with BPD and the loss of a favourite person or of any significant relationship is like, so impactful. Like re-opening all the old wounds while creating a fresh one to join them. 

I send big pile of hope for you to find your people soon, you deserve all the love and wonderful companionship!

💜 🤞

[outlander]

Thank you @Jynx it is tough.
alot has changed and not for the better. its been really hard on me

[Sans911]

I was only thinking of you just yesterday lil Sis @outlander. But I'm a terrible sister and friend for the lack of support not given.

I'm so glad you have amazing support from others here. There's nothing I can really add that others have already said, and it would feel lame anyway.

Tommorow is another chance to try again, and while I know you've had so many of those, you are remarkable in your determination and strength. I know too that falters and falls away at times like now.

Just be here with your tribe. People who get you, want you in their lives and value your worth. ❣️❣️❣️

[NatureLover]

Aww, @Jynx , you rock. Every single one of your posts is full of warmth, compassion, understanding and wisdom. I always read them. 

[NatureLover]

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@outlander wrote:
@NatureLovermy depression worrries me as well. the thing with mine is i dont fear it, which is why i find it more dangerous then my anxiety. i get into a mode where i no longer care, no longer worry what happens to me, its where some more of my reckless behaviours come into it esp when im on my own. i just shrug everything off, my empathy and sympathy also seem to dissappear. its a strange mode to go into.

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@outlander  I'm sorry that you don't fear your depression. I fear mine greatly (which causes other problems!). 

I don't think you need to worry that your empathy disappears...as it's more important that you care for yourself. 

Sending hugs 💔

[Snowie]

Good morning sis @outlander 

Sorry I ended up falling asleep early last night. Must have been more tired then I thought.

I hope today is a little brighter for you.

Lots of love 💗💗