I finished my work day at 6pm and was home around 6:45.  It's normally about 30 minutes drive and because it was warm I took my time leaving work.

By 7pm I was back on the road, this time a 30 minute drive to the local Emergency.   For when I got home I had found out my dad has almost had 3 falls and he had chest pain (which I later found out started at 11am)

We were in triage at 7:30pm  and he was in a bed by 7:45.  I was actually quite calm this time but abut 9:15 I needed to escape for food.  I ate enough for a small couple,  now I am guilt tripping myself and stressing about all sorts of non essentials. 

I have to admit I felt a strong urge to message someone whom I promised I wouldn't message until after my Feb 14th appointment.

I have been struggling for a period of time and allowed my unstable thoughts to control my actions.   During this time I had interactions with a good friend which I am certainly not proud of.  I would never consciously hurt them but my instability caused more problems and pain that I could fully understand. 

Knowing that I have specific mental health issues and doing my best to keep a promise.  I am lucky that I have some control at the moment but I was so so close to caving when I should leave them be.